This is just food for thought, and I don’t know if I am the only one feeling this way about starting college, but it really wasn’t what I was expecting.
Ever since I started high school all I could think about is graduating and going to college (Currently at Santa Fe) and do great things. Now I come from a relatively poor family and I always had the question in the back of my head whether college was actually in the cards for me. I always knew it was going to be expensive (That is all anyone told me through high school) so I just put the thought of college as not the first option as what I would do with my life. My mother on the other hand was the exact opposite when it came to what I wanted to do with myself after graduating. My mother grew up a very hard worker and picked as a kid and for most of her life all she knew was traveling between Texas and Ohio to pick different vegetables and changing schools every year. She did go to college for a year, but she was the only one left out of all her siblings and was forced to drop out because of my stern grandmother and her insecurities about being left alone.
Now I am not saying that I wish that I hadn’t chose to go to college, but then again it wasn’t really my choice. I was bred to do great things and I know this by looking back at all the time that both of my parents spent with me and the classes and social events that they threw me into. I hate to sound egocentric, but I have always been a smart cookie as a kid, and when I was in grade school I was tested and was tried to be put into the gifted program for my county. My mother not wanting me to be classified as weird or a nerd told the school no about a thousand times, and I don’t blame her, even in high school those kids seemed a little off because of the lack of social experience with all the other kids. I figured out my true potential in middle school as they allowed me to take high school courses because the administration began to see how much of a joke the curriculum was to me. Not gonna lie, my first reaction was that there was no way in hell that I was gonna leave my classes to hang out with the weird kids that do nothing but read all day, and I am not looking down on them because they were the conventional “Nerd.” I loved the outdoors and worked on farms pretty much my whole life, so there was no way that I wanted to be stuck inside. At the end of the day it was not my decision to make, or even input to put into the conversation and the next day, I was sitting in a class with the “cream of the crop” of my county. I am glad, of course, of the decision today that I was able to learn at rate that was more suited for me and I was able to challenge my own self to become smarter.
It wasn’t until the eighth grade where college had actually became a thought to me as possible because I had one a four year scholarship to any school in the state of Florida. Me being me did not care much for the award because at that time of my life I had been working for three years and realized how nice it was to have money and the future of being a farmer and taking care of my family. All of my family has been raised to take care of each other no matter what the situation is, and in my mind I always took the situation as growing up as a hard worker and putting food on the table like my father did. When high school started, all I wanted to do was cruise by and get my diploma, but everyone had other plans for me. I was assigned a mentor and was forced into every AP class that was offered at my school without any say, which was not fun for me. AP classes took up almost all of my time, and I still worked from the end of school until midnight. As a kid in high school, I never took school seriously and I guess it bugged people because some administration saw the potential that I had. I was never worried about being the class Valedictorian, but as I figured out the night of our graduation, everyone expected me to be number one in the class and do great things which was honestly one of the biggest stressors of my life; the idea of failing.
Now here I am in present day sitting in my neighbors apartment, typing this blog for my comp 2 class and I am just wondering, was it all worth it?